sunday snapshot # 23

In life we are all handed good and bad. And a lot of times we are just waiting out the storm.... waiting for it to pass and to get back to normal. But what if there is no getting back to normal? What if you have to embrace a new way of being and you are just not ready?

This has been me for a while now. I'm usually really good at waiting out the storm and usually really good at being grateful and seeing the bigger picture of life, but 3 years ago today I had a major hip surgery that has changed everything. I know how to wait out a storm with a hopeful outlook. And I know how to get back up when I fall down. But embracing a new normal has been a challenge. I didn't know how different life would be after this surgery. I didn't know that my sense of balance and sense of movement and sense of self would be so different. I didn't know that I would barely recognize myself -- and that I would feel so lost. 

I have wanted to give up many times. I have even wished more than once that I died on the operating table because what good is life if you are in constant pain and can barely move?

But the only way to get through something is to go through it.... you have to walk straight through it to get to the other side. You won't get to the other side unchanged, but there is always more of life to live and even when you feel you have nothing, you really have so much--- it's all in the way you look at it and all in the way you define what is important in life and who you want to be. 

I keep waiting for things to get back to normal.... but there is no going back.... there is only moving forward.

Forward in my life philosophy, forward in my art, forward in my sense of self, and forward in what I give to this world.  At every moment we have to decide who we are-- are we going to be kind? are we going to be thoughtful? are we going to be generous? are we going to be strong and do the hard things in life? are we going to let go and start again? 

We sometimes hold on too tight to things that we need to let go. Life is a continual process of letting go because when you let go, you open up room for something new and there are so many possibilities :)

Here is the first in a series of images I have been working on.

These images speak to my experiences with brokenness, with struggle, with perseverance, with hope, with gratitude.... with taking what is left over and making something new. 

from ashes - 2014

sunday snapshot # 19

My 19th post on October 19th

Maybe this is a good sign that good things are on the way???? Or just a fun coincidence :)

I always thought that you first worked really hard to build a life, then there would be a point where you got to start living it.  And I think I have just been waiting for my real life to begin but really life is constantly unfolding a path one brick at a time that you walk along.....

Here are some of my favorites things from this path so far... 

red velvet cake.....    well, really most cake

red velvet cake.....    well, really most cake

Philly pretzel

Philly pretzel

the perfect Coke

the perfect Coke

pretty things

pretty things

great jewelry

great jewelry

beautiful books

beautiful books

Coco Chanel.....  and green velvet

Coco Chanel.....  and green velvet

fashion and flowers

fashion and flowers

a snow day... quiet outside and curled up inside

a snow day... quiet outside and curled up inside

a reminder that even during moments of chaos and stress you can be at peace

a reminder that even during moments of chaos and stress you can be at peace

watching this little one walk through the world

watching this little one walk through the world

contour line drawings

contour line drawings

taking photos

taking photos

knowing there is something bigger.... just look up

knowing there is something bigger.... just look up

this silly moment

this silly moment

fun with photos.... love an app  and moments with this kid

fun with photos.... love an app

and moments with this kid

moss.... and curating great art shows

moss.... and curating great art shows

little blooms

little blooms

this little face..... (and an owl hat)

this little face..... (and an owl hat)

this little face.....

this little face.....

and  this little face.....

and this little face.....

beautiful endings to each day

beautiful endings to each day

Gigi turns 1

My niece.  This little girl is quite a character... from day one she has been smiling, determined, silly.... and definitely wakes up with her own agenda each day.  She is full of laughter, love and lots of spunk.  Today she turns 1.

She is too funny!